Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Assure good performance of kids at school

Parents worry so much about the performance of their kids at school. They actually strain themselves a lot and also put undue pressure on their children to make latter perform well. However, in spite of their pressures and effort, some kids do not perform as per expectations.

Are the kids responsible for underperformance? Or is the school not doing enough? Or maybe, the parents are making too much of fuss. Let’s find out.

There can be multitude of reasons due to which some children do not perform as per expectations.

Outdated teaching methods The school may be following outdated teaching methods and aids which lack innovation and fun. It makes learning a boring process for kids and they sometimes do not understand the concepts well.

Lack of motivation by parents The lack of adequate attention and motivation also makes the child lose interest in studies. Sometimes the parents put the onus of education on teachers and school and shrug off their responsibilities. This irresponsible attitude of parents makes the children careless towards their studies and hence poor grades in school.

Burden of over expectations Conversely, some parents over burden their kids with their expectations. Excessive discipline and lack of appreciation for hard work discourages the child and make him lose focus.

Absence of pleasant atmosphere at home The kids are sensitive and easily get affected by their surroundings. Fights between parents, divorce, death or illness of parent/ close family member are some of the reasons which affect mental status of the child and may affect his performance at school.

Bullying in school The victimized kids are often less bold to counter the bully. The continuous bulling in school can badly influence the concentration and studies of such kids.

Too much of electronic media If the kids are over exposed to internet,mobile phones or T.V., they may lose their concentration and avoid giving enough attention to their homework.

Lack of sleep The adequate sleep of the child is important to refresh the brain. Sleep helps in mental and physical development and therefore if deprived, the performance of the child gets hampered.

Health issues Lack of nutritious and whole some diet may make the child weak. Good diet is important for mind and body as well as for their proper functioning. Therefore diet and health have a great effect on the performance of the child.

Performance anxiety This is yet another reason for poor performance in school. Sometimes even bright students are not able to put in their best because of the increased anxiety levels and nervousness in them about their own performance.

Learning disabilities Some children suffer from problem of learning disabilities which may interfere with their learning process. There can be different forms of learning disabilities and if not discover on time, may continue to cause difficulty to such children at school.

Lack of good performance of child in studies is therefore an indication of some other major issue which needs attention. In case there is low performance or dip in grades, the teachers and family should try to understand the mental status of the child. They should try to discover the possible reason for the poor performance.
Here are mentioned some general guidelines which may help the parents to improve the performance of the child in school.

Appreciate the hard work of the kid even if the results are below expectations.

Take active interest in studies and homework of the child.

Coordinate with teachers and other parents about the education policy in the school.

Help your kid to get organized and make time table which accommodates enough time for homework, play time and sleep time.

Take good care of the diet and health of the child.

The parents may introduce their own interesting assignments and workbooks to help children in their studies.

Limit T.V. and computer viewing as it can distract the children.

Avoid getting anxious as it may make the child nervous.

Encourage child to share his feelings and point of view about school, studies, and other things.

In case of child with learning disabilities, seek professional guidance and act accordingly.

Forgive the mistakes of the child and give him chance to improve.

Always motivate your child in calm and positive way to achieve his goals.

These steps will surely help parents and their kids to bring out the best in kids and enhance their performance.

Monday, April 25, 2011

How to deal with anger in kids?

What happens when you refuse to comply with the demands of your 9 year old? He yells, throws things and slams the door on your face. And that's how he reacts most of the times.
Have you seen the tantrums thrown by a kid in the shopping complex when her mother does not buy her favorite chocolate pack?
Now review another situation. A toddler repeatedly bangs his head and howls when his friend did not hand over his ball. Even worse, he bites and hits the other children when he does not get toys of other children to play.

All the above examples reflect growing frustration and anger in kids. Either they want immediate compliance to their demands or they will throw fits and have a meltdown in full public view. In all the cases, if anger problem is not dealt with in time, there are chances that:

The relationship between the parents and kid would deteriorate
• His behavior will cause embarrassment to parents in front of relatives, friends or public
• The kid may hurt himself physically
• He may become violent and harm other children
• He may have problems in communicating his emotions in right way
• He may lose his friends and feel dejected at social level like in school, parties, etc
• He may grow up as a defiant and aggressive adult


So, uncontrolled anger can have multiple negative outcomes on the kid himself and on the society as a whole. Therefore, it is mandatory to deal with the problem at early stage so that child can learn to manage his anger.

Parents often look for help and counseling for treating anger in their children. However, most of the times they can deal with this problem on their own and make their kids learn anger management. With their support and attention, the child can learn to express his anger in a more amicable manner.

The following tips will surely help parents to teach anger management to kids:

The first thing about anger which both parents and kids should understand is that anger is not bad. It is an emotion and it’s natural to get angry about unpleasant instances. It is the expression of anger which needs to be learned.

Be a role model for your kids and express anger in a healthy way. Your own way of displaying anger has large impact on the mind of the kid. He or she is likely to follow your footsteps. Therefore, be more constructive and calm when you are angry.

Educate your child about the signs of anger. Tell him his face gets red or his body gets tensed /stiffened when he gets angry. That would help him to know when he is getting angry and about to explode.

Teach him ways to manage his anger. Like he may do reverse counting from 20 to 1 to lower his anger.

Bullying by other kids is one reason of anger in kids. Teach him to become assertive and confident. This will help him in displaying his anger constructively.

Make your child write about the ways he can handle his anger like deep breathing or reverse counting or drawing to vent the bad feeling.Always listen to your kids about the way they feel. Your attention will help them express and deal with anger in a better way.Avoid showing violent scenes to the kids on T.V. or computer.

Teach the kids to respect the feelings and decisions of others.


Anger management is important for healthy development of the child and hence parents must inculcate this quality in the child from the very beginning.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Is your kid getting bullied?

Is your child showing reluctance to go to school? Does he make excuses like headache to avoid going to school? Does he appear nervous or scared all the time? Or is there a significant drop in his grades? Is your child getting weaker in spite of healthy meals you packed in his lunch box? Do you feel that your child is behaving differently?

Kindly do not overlook these signals. These may be due to bullying and the child is not being able to handle or deal with it.

Bullying is a deliberate act or series of acts to humiliate or torment a child. There can be physical, verbal or mental ways which make the child uncomfortable, depressed or edgy. The bullying nowadays is not limited to schools. It has gone to further levels like bullying through mobile phones and via internet. It is much more than simple teasing or funny remark made out to the child.

Usually, the purpose of bullying is to have a sense of control or importance over others. Sometimes bullies do it to seek attention of others. At other times, victims of bullying also become bullies as they think it the right way to behave with weaker children or new students in the school.

There can be serious after effects of bullying on the mental as well as physical health of the victim. The child can have negative feelings and emotions because of getting bullied. He may feel left out and alone. Sometimes, the victims get depressed and lose self confidence. The victimized children therefore go through a tough time and at this point the support of teachers and parents is crucial to bring hope and confidence in the victims.

Parents can provide their love, affection and support and help their child to deal with bullying in an assertive manner. They should encourage the child to share the incident with them. It is important for the victimized child to pour out his emotions and feelings. And with the support of the parents, he can review his own feelings and trauma and deal bullying in a positive way. The parents can take following measures to deal with bullying of their child:

Listen to the child and comfort him with your love and support. Appreciate him for sharing his experience.

Educate the child that it is the bully who is on wrong side and he should not be the one feeling guilty or embarrassed about the incident
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Help your child to be confident and assertive (not aggressive). Explain him to use such words in front of the bullies that reflect confidence.

The parents can narrate their own experience of getting bullied in school and the way they dealt with it. This way the child will understand that he is not the only one and that such incident can be stopped with courage.

In case of serious incidents, it is better to report the same to the teachers and counselors in school and discuss with them to resolve the problem.

Also the incident can be brought to the notice of the parents of the bullies so that such misbehavior can be controlled.

The timely action and support of the parents is extremely essential to stop bullying and safeguard their kids from mental and physical distress.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Are mobile phones really safe for kids?

Mobile phones are the favorite and widely used medium of communication. It has become practically impossible to stay mobile and connected as well with the world without a mobile phone. And you would agree kids are not behind in this sphere as well. Kids want and demand a separate cell phone for themselves. And indeed it has become a necessity for kids as well!

As most of the tween and teens are on their toes attending different classes and activities or catching up with friends, it is important to keep a track of their whereabouts and their plans for the day. Mobile phones serve the purpose to keep the kids stay connected with their parents. Besides, to stay in tune with the rest of the world like friends, teachers, activity classes and others the cell phones are the constant companion for kids.

Though mobiles are the friendly gadgets, yet there are some probable dangers which may affect safety of kids. Parents should be aware of such safety concerns and accordingly protect their kids from such dangers arising from use of mobile phones.

Cell phone radiation is considered as dangerous. And in case of kids the threat is more serious.

Sharing of personal number with strangers can be risky as well because the same can be used for illegal purposes.

Use of cameras in mobile phones has deteriorated the security of the kids as anyone can take snaps and use in whichever way. Moreover the sharing of videos and photos on mobile phones may put the reputation of the user at stake if the data is located by some criminal or anti social people.

Internet installation on mobile phones opens up whole lot of ways which can lead to cyber bullying and harassment of kids. The profiles updated of teenagers can be misused and exploited for unlawful purposes.

SMS and texting may pose yet another kind of threat in form of bullying and sexting which may mentally torture the kids.

Too much usage of mobile phones results in inflated bills which may be difficult to digest by parents.

In view of the above threats, one can easily conclude that mobile phones have some concrete threats along with some sensible benefits. Taking away the cell phones is not the right solution. However, conscious safety measures can minimize such threats and maximize safety of kids. Some of the easy to implement means of protection are stated below:

Educate the child about probable threats and unlawful means that can be adopted by criminal minded people.

Ask the kids to share their number with friends and known people only.

Avoid disclosing the mobile number on the social networking sites or other kind of websites as the number can be misused for exploitation.

In fact, avoid providing internet facility on cell phones as it is difficult to safeguard the kids while they are outside homes and using internet for socializing or surfing.

Kids should be educated to use camera facility diligently and protest if somebody else photographs them without permission.

Kids should be instructed to use mobiles only when required in order to stay protected from radiation and also keeping the bills at lower side.

Provide only such features in the phones which are useful for kids. Feature such as GPS technology have a flip side as well and it's better to miss it on kids’ cell phones.
These basic safety measures for usage of cell phones by kids are compulsory and important to protect them.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Shrink greedy attitude in child

Kids of this generation are much more materialistic and greedy than ever before. They put themselves and their wants over and above everything. All their minds can think of the ways in which they can get access to latest luxuries, gadgets and things of their interest which may not be a necessity for them. More and more kids nowadays focus on themselves and their demands. They are least concerned about the requirements and feelings of other family members and people around them.

This kind of greedy attitude if continues erases the space for feelings and empathy for others. Plus they will not able to put a line on where to stop and get hold on their temptations. The uncontrolled temptations and greed on the whole make the child become unappreciative of numeral gifts and facilities of life and whine about the things to be possessed.

And for that children cannot be blamed. Most of the times, parents are responsible for greedy nature of the children. The latter are flooded with gifts, games and gadgets. These material things are often attached with happiness and as substitute of precious quality time of parents. The underlying message thus is materialism scores over human relationships.

Besides, there are other reasons for growing greediness in kids like rise in consumerism. Advertisers see kids as targets and revolve their marketing strategy around them. These soft targets are the prime reason of purchases of not just kids stuff but also electronics, gadgets and many non essential items. The peer pressure adds on to this greedy habit.

Parent intervention is crucial to control the greedy nature of the child. There can be various ways to make child give up greediness and become judicious in temperament:

Avoid bribing the child to motivate them.

Do not shower them with unnecessary gifts and things that they really don't need.

Ask your kid to add his latest demand to his list which can be given on his birthday or some special occasion. This helps in delaying and controlling their temptations.

Educate your child about the tactics of advertisers to trap young kids and prompt them to buy. Help your young consumer to find out the best product which meets his requirement.

Teach your child to read labels of products and the value they provide.

Sharing is important aspect of a family. Ask your child to share toys with siblings and friends.


Inspire your children to reuse and recycle things into useful items of daily use.

Teach the importance of money to children.

Encourage the child to donate things to needy people. This will evoke sympathy and affection in child for fellow humans.

Spend quality time with kids and avoid using gadgets as replacement. This will make child value the relationships.

Last but not the least, review yourself. If you have a materialistic attitude then your children are likely to follow you and become greedy as well.

Appreciate the good aspects of life and facilities that have been endowed upon your family. Make your child aware of these things so that they grow as humble and sensible citizens of the world.