Tuesday, December 27, 2016

7 Steps to build Confidence of Your Child

What would you do if you find your growing child is losing confidence? Praise her minutest of actions or shower her with gifts that are actually not required?

That is not going to help much as the child will depend upon you to feel good about herself or may be, she will consider herself above others which is not healthy either. So what all can be done that help her stay confident?

                                                   

Here are simple and easy ways to build confidence of your teenage daughter or son:

Let her make choices

Avoid taking each and every decision on behalf of your kid. Let her decide what works best for her out of certain options such as a 10 year old can be given a chance to decide what dress to buy for her birthday instead of telling what will be good for her. That will boost her confidence a lot.

Let her follow her hobbies/ interests




Your child is interested in theatre or sports then let her join classes and help her to continue her passion. Even if it means rescheduling your day! This will develop her self-esteem and inspire her to accomplish what she started.

Let her have a say in family matters!

On occasions such as Christmas or New Year party, ask kids to give their inputs with respect to decoration, card making, menu, her guest list,etc. This will make them feel important and of course, boost their self-esteem. In daily routine too, give your teen space to decide on usual matters and cooperate in little things such as cooking, tidying up the living room,etc

Allow your teen to take risks

Being overprotective does not let kid take risks and learn from her own experiences. Therefore, allow her to take small risks in your presence. My daughter's friend got stuck in lift and from that moment my 8 year old daughter was scared of going alone in the lift. But I encouraged her and assured that I would stand and watch in front of elevator till she reaches safely. That worked for us and now she confidently takes the elevator alone.

Help her to recover from failures

When she fails to perform as per the expectations of her teachers or peers, her confidence may dip. At that time your words of encouragement and your opinion about the situation can do a lot to build her confidence again. Remind her of her past accomplishments, beautiful experiences and pictures that reflect her positives.

Model healthy self-confidence in front of kids

Your own opinion about yourself and your response to various situations shape the mindset of your kids. Therefore, watch out your actions as you are always monitored by your kids. They are going to follow your footsteps.

Unconditional love

If your acceptance goes beyond the grades and performance of your child then come what may, your child will reflect positive attitude in everything he does. So, love unconditionally even if he fails to perform better or take wrong decisions.


Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Warning signals your child is low on confidence

                                               
Teenager with low confidence stays aloof.

Low confidence in your teenager can restrict him/her to a shell. He may not be able to lead a healthy social life or tap his inner talent which he can otherwise do if he has faith in himself.

If you want to expand the horizon of your teenager child and desire to help him lead a happy life then check the probable signs of low confidence in your teenager boy or girl. Only if you are able to identify these warning signals, you can give the right direction to your child and make him more confident for anything and everything that comes his way.

Here are warning signals that your child has low confidence:

  • He avoids meeting/ communicating with his friends and class fellows; tries to stay aloof.
  • He avoids participating in challenges and competitions due to fear of failure.
  • He gives in to the demands of his peer group and is not able to say "no".
  • He looks for approval for his decisions and actions everytime because he is not confident.
  • He does not finish a task as soon as he feels difficulty and quits without trying enough.
  • He does not take initiative and tries to hide himself when situation arises to take responsibility.
  • He/ she blames people or situations for his own incompetency.
  • He has mood swings ranging from irritable behaviour, anxiety, hopelessness, aloofness and sadness.
  • He is self-critical and uses negative words for himself such as loser, fool, etc
  • He either rebels without a reason or is overly helpful to seek approval.
  • He tries to seek attention of people around him through unreasonable actions.
  • He tries to control people around him. 
  • He gets into drinking, drugs, tobacco,etc.

The teenager may have some of the above symptoms which clearly indicate low self-esteem in him. Once it is established, parents can look for possible reasons and ways to deal with the low self-esteem in their child.

Related post:



Friday, December 9, 2016

Are you hurting self-esteem of your growing kid?

                                                                      


While it's okay to feel low some times but feeling low about oneself continuously is not a good sign especially among growing kids. Sometimes even as parents we can't estimate the causes of low self-esteem in kids. There can be several reasons that make a child less confident and sadly, at times, parents contribute to low self-confidence in their own child.

Now when a kid has deficient self-esteem then it needs to be rectified before it has severe effect on the psyche and life of the kid. The first step to handle low self-esteem in your growing kid is to ascertain probable reasons of the same. Find out if you as a parent has done or undone something that is hurting the confidence of your child.

Let us check out probable causes of low self-esteem and make sure your tween is not going through the same:

When kid feels neglected:

Absence of personal attention and support of parents may lead to low self-esteem in the kid. Whether parents are occupied in work or over engaged on social media, providing quality time to kids is mandatory to make them feel secure. However, if you can’t keep your hands off from your laptop or mobile while your kid is eager to share his story then he may feel neglected causing dip in confidence.

When you over interfere:
                                              
                                                   


If you are one of those who make sure to instruct their tween now and then or check what they are doing all the time, then the child may feel you don’t trust his abilities. Your over indulgence in his every decision and action may erode his confidence to work and achieve independently. So better, keep a check on your over-caring attitude!

When you forget to appreciate enough:

You remember to pinpoint their mistakes but often forget to appreciate their small achievements or endeavours. Instead of showing the right path, if you become overly critical of his actions or use harsh words for the child, the result is your teen feels he is not good enough.
This is not what you want to happen, right?


When you compare with peers

To boost confidence of your child, you compare her to siblings or peers, but it backfired! Constant comparison of performance or behaviour of your child with others or pushing your kid to become like others will definitely cause a serious damage to her self-esteem. Check this habit before it destroys the self-esteem of your child!


When you do not respect:

Mocking their behaviour in front of your friends or spelling out their weaknesses with other adults disgusts your child. When you try to prove how your child is silly, not good enough or bad at something, he assumes that he is not worthy for his parents.

When you give up on your child:

                                                         Image result for teenager and parent sad

When you give up the hope that your teenager can improve, he also gives up his hope, you know. Your discouraging attitude and words has a deep negative effect on him that may not be reversible.

So before you expect your child to be responsible, sensible, hardworking or any thing else, check if you have any of the above habits that can damage his self-esteem!


Related post:  Raise happy and optimistic kids