Monday, April 25, 2011

How to deal with anger in kids?

What happens when you refuse to comply with the demands of your 9 year old? He yells, throws things and slams the door on your face. And that's how he reacts most of the times.
Have you seen the tantrums thrown by a kid in the shopping complex when her mother does not buy her favorite chocolate pack?
Now review another situation. A toddler repeatedly bangs his head and howls when his friend did not hand over his ball. Even worse, he bites and hits the other children when he does not get toys of other children to play.

All the above examples reflect growing frustration and anger in kids. Either they want immediate compliance to their demands or they will throw fits and have a meltdown in full public view. In all the cases, if anger problem is not dealt with in time, there are chances that:

The relationship between the parents and kid would deteriorate
• His behavior will cause embarrassment to parents in front of relatives, friends or public
• The kid may hurt himself physically
• He may become violent and harm other children
• He may have problems in communicating his emotions in right way
• He may lose his friends and feel dejected at social level like in school, parties, etc
• He may grow up as a defiant and aggressive adult

So, uncontrolled anger can have multiple negative outcomes on the kid himself and on the society as a whole. Therefore, it is mandatory to deal with the problem at early stage so that child can learn to manage his anger.

Parents often look for help and counseling for treating anger in their children. However, most of the times they can deal with this problem on their own and make their kids learn anger management. With their support and attention, the child can learn to express his anger in a more amicable manner.

The following tips will surely help parents to teach anger management to kids:

The first thing about anger which both parents and kids should understand is that anger is not bad. It is an emotion and it’s natural to get angry about unpleasant instances. It is the expression of anger which needs to be learned.

Be a role model for your kids and express anger in a healthy way. Your own way of displaying anger has large impact on the mind of the kid. He or she is likely to follow your footsteps. Therefore, be more constructive and calm when you are angry.

Educate your child about the signs of anger. Tell him his face gets red or his body gets tensed /stiffened when he gets angry. That would help him to know when he is getting angry and about to explode.

Teach him ways to manage his anger. Like he may do reverse counting from 20 to 1 to lower his anger.

Bullying by other kids is one reason of anger in kids. Teach him to become assertive and confident. This will help him in displaying his anger constructively.

Make your child write about the ways he can handle his anger like deep breathing or reverse counting or drawing to vent the bad feeling.Always listen to your kids about the way they feel. Your attention will help them express and deal with anger in a better way.Avoid showing violent scenes to the kids on T.V. or computer.

Teach the kids to respect the feelings and decisions of others.

Anger management is important for healthy development of the child and hence parents must inculcate this quality in the child from the very beginning.

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